Social Media Pet Peeves

So at the age of 29, I can honestly say I love social media. I get my sports scores, news updates and celeb goss instantly. I can also communicate with every person I know through some sort of instatwittavine. Especially since I live so far away from all of my family and most of my dear friends, it had made living overseas in 2006 to 2013 a light westerly breeze. The reason I say westerly, is because from growing up on the Jersey Shore, sometimes on that barrier island you get that unwanted flock of green head flies with that warm bay breeze. Every once in a while, there is one fly that gets you good, and man does it sting like a "you know what".

Below are those green heads in my social media experience: 

•Selfies: I'm an only child and love to be the center of attention, but peeps, you do realize if you take that many pictures of yourself, that equates to no one in your life telling you you're attractive so you want the rest of the world to maybe think you might be. Guess what... If you don't have someone to take a picture for you, you don't have friends, and youre probably not that cool/nice of a person. Stop posting crap and start reevaluating your life! 

•Sonograms: Guuuurlll, you do realize you just posted a picture of the inside of your uterus, right?! Sorry, I deem that inappropriate. I don't care if you are a dear friend or a relative, I will unfriend/unfollow your narcissistic behind. On top of that, your 3D alien baby is freaking me out! Can there be at least one surprise in life, as in, the shape of your baby's nose! I get you're stoked that "you never thought it could happen" and you're "so excited and thrilled". Me too! But guess what, don't rub it in those people's faces who 1) can't have kids or 2)don't want to have nightmares by seeing your super personal seed squished against a probe! Let's all agree to wait five more months for the kid to see the sun first. Then by all means, post away!!

•"Just smashed out a gym session, no excuses." Guess what a-hole? I have been working out at least six times a week for the past 28 years of my life. Big deal! Just because you might have been made fun of for being overweight half of your life or are uncomfortable wearing a bikini, don't post your every workout as a status. No one cares!! Keep a journal if you have to write it down and motivate yourself, and two thumbs up for dropping a pound, but for goodness sake, you should be working out every day. Nobody likes a couch potato!  

•Your no carb, all juice diet. If I wanted to watch someone suffer I'd put on a movie of the Holocaust. It's not sustainable and it's stupid. Instead of 7 cookies have 1! Instead if a cookie eat an apple?  Problem solved!! Don't be ridiculous. 

Bottom line, stop being jackasses people. A little common sense and a lot of common courtesy would be greatly appreciated by the instatwittavine world, but most importantly by me! Please don't ruin my social media browsing. I am the queen of useless information and I need to get my fix. Remember this next time you want to post the above: "Ain't nobody got time, fo' dat!"