Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Social Media Pet Peeves

So at the age of 29, I can honestly say I love social media. I get my sports scores, news updates and celeb goss instantly. I can also communicate with every person I know through some sort of instatwittavine. Especially since I live so far away from all of my family and most of my dear friends, it had made living overseas in 2006 to 2013 a light westerly breeze. The reason I say westerly, is because from growing up on the Jersey Shore, sometimes on that barrier island you get that unwanted flock of green head flies with that warm bay breeze. Every once in a while, there is one fly that gets you good, and man does it sting like a "you know what".

Below are those green heads in my social media experience: 

Selfies: I'm an only child and love to be the center of attention, but peeps, you do realize if you take that many pictures of yourself, that equates to no one in your life telling you you're attractive so you want the rest of the world to maybe think you might be. Guess what... If you don't have someone to take a picture for you, you don't have friends, and youre probably not that cool/nice of a person. Stop posting crap and start reevaluating your life! 

Sonograms: Guuuurlll, you do realize you just posted a picture of the inside of your uterus, right?! Sorry, I deem that inappropriate. I don't care if you are a dear friend or a relative, I will unfriend/unfollow your narcissistic behind. On top of that, your 3D alien baby is freaking me out! Can there be at least one surprise in life, as in, the shape of your baby's nose! I get you're stoked that "you never thought it could happen" and you're "so excited and thrilled". Me too! But guess what, don't rub it in those people's faces who 1) can't have kids or 2)don't want to have nightmares by seeing your super personal seed squished against a probe! Let's all agree to wait five more months for the kid to see the sun first. Then by all means, post away!!

"Just smashed out a gym session, no excuses." Guess what a-hole? I have been working out at least six times a week for the past 28 years of my life. Big deal! Just because you might have been made fun of for being overweight half of your life or are uncomfortable wearing a bikini, don't post your every workout as a status. No one cares!! Keep a journal if you have to write it down and motivate yourself, and two thumbs up for dropping a pound, but for goodness sake, you should be working out every day. Nobody likes a couch potato!  

Your no carb, all juice diet. If I wanted to watch someone suffer I'd put on a movie of the Holocaust. It's not sustainable and it's stupid. Instead of 7 cookies have 1! Instead if a cookie eat an apple?  Problem solved!! Don't be ridiculous. 

Bottom line, stop being jackasses people. A little common sense and a lot of common courtesy would be greatly appreciated by the instatwittavine world, but most importantly by me! Please don't ruin my social media browsing. I am the queen of useless information and I need to get my fix. Remember this next time you want to post the above: "Ain't nobody got time, fo' dat!"

Friday, May 31, 2013

Great Gatsby

I just got home from watching The Great Gatsby starring Leo. The movie was a fantastic 3-D adaptation to F. Scott Fitzgerald's book. I actually didn't like the book the first time I read it at age 12, but the second time I read it in high school, followed by watching Robert Redford play Gatsby, I was blown away. 

For my 15th birthday, my mom took me to The Rosebud Mansion where the original movie was filmed. Ironically enough, I was living in Sydney where the second movie was filmed. 

I went with three Aussies, a fellow American and a Canadian, and was taken back by how I was the only one who had ever read the book. There are so many references to the book which have been made through my life and I cannot believe  studying the writing style alone hasn't been made mandatory, elsewhere.

I guess I owe many thanks to Mrs. Perry for making me reread The Great Gatsby and teaching me how to appreciate and all kinds of literature. 

My only qualm from the movie was Jay-Z and Beyonce songs stiing through the movie. I know Mr Carter was an Executive Producer, but Baz Luhrman you lost me on that one. The Roaring 20's were all about the Charleston and brass bands. I'm not sure where Empire State of Mind became appropriate?! Let's keep it real-er next time, guys. 

Friday, July 6, 2012


It's a Friday afternoon and a lot has happened. The Lady SuperCats are 14-4 and on top of the ladder! Work is going great! I can't believe I have missed my second 4th of July in a row. I forgot how much I enjoyed a good 'ole American hotdog and cheeseburger. I also miss all of the great FRESH seafood the Jersey Shore, and my dad's friends seem to get their hands on. It's funny, because I live on an island, but I'm not always quite sure what I'm eating as far as seafood is concerned. There's barramundi, flake, and a ton of other fish. Plus, people eat the skins of their fish here...YUCK! What's wrong with you all?!

I have picked up a few sayings, and apparently, I'm saying them very "Aussie". When I don't mean to, I can speak with the Aussie accent, but when I'm trying to imitate someone, I wind up sounding British.  

Speaking of British, how pumped is everyone for the Olympics?! I'm stoked! Yes, I've played hoops my whole life, but that little gymnast in me can't wait to watch the US women do their floor, bar, vault and beam routines! Sign me up for a round off back hand spring, double back punch front ariel layout ANYDAY!! I am slightly concerned, however, because, being in Australia, means I will be forced to watch all of the Australian golds. Granted, I have met and or played with or against a few of the Aussie, New Zealand, Great Britain and American stars, and have met a  handful of the Aussie men's team (did I mention I spoke to Patty Mills the other day and saw Luc Longley coach twice?! No big deal?!), but I will miss seeing the stars and stripes and Star Spangled Banner being played, in the spirit of Independence Day and what not. I will try and get my eyes on a USA women's soccer game as well.  GO CHRISTIE! (I was watching Ellen the other day and her teammate was on and showed a pic of her with Christie, I jumped out of my chair and yelled and told my roomies she went to my high school! So cool!)

Well, for all of my friends and family at home complaining about the heat, suck it up! It's winter here. My Maine blood is gone. I get so cold so quickly. My wallet isn't loving the heat bills either, but I'll survive!

Chat soon, I'm out!


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Well a lot has certainly happened since my last post. I have been so busy since my last post, I'm not really quite sure where time has gone!

Ironically since then, I have actually moved to Geelong, the team who won the AFL Championship. Also since then, I spent Christmas and New Years in Sydney and on the beach, surprised my family in NJ for a week (after not seeing them for an entire year) and moved to the sunny south coast of Victoria, Geelong.

I live on a hipster street in a little city of 100,000 people. I'm 45 minutes west of Melbourne and in between is nothing but sheep and fields. The hot spot in town in the National Wool Museum by day and a bar called Lamby's by night (seriously, you can't make that stuff up.) Also, the guy, Cameron Ling, who was the MVP of that AFL team which won the Championship, yea well he owns that bar.

I've seen Kelly Slater surf Bell's Beach (and lose, but get a 10 on a wave) so I can cross that off the bucket list.

Hoops has been fun, and the people here in this town are fantastic. I have to say, however, that I thought I hit the jackpot with my teammates in Manly, but my teammates in Geelong are just as wonderful. I am very lucky!

We are currently hooked on The Voice and Revenge. Revenge is AMAZE and the Voice is great, I just really wish they would kick off the Pom and stop the chick from crying. The American and the Aussie who lives in America, are the best judges....the other two are driving me NUTS!

And how about NBA playoffs?! All of the T's: Tantrums, Techs, and Tears! Gosh I wish the NBA went from Nov-April and college hoops went from August-June. Although I would have hated it in college, thats for sure.

I'm going to try and keep this better up to date.  I will revert back to my old style of themes and quirky daily activities.


Sunday, October 2, 2011

Flannel-in or TOO in?

Aussie rules football, or better known as AFL. It is the greatest sport to watch. It is so entertaining and the skill involved in kicking an odd shaped ball with such precision, 50 yards down the field into a teammate's hands, is in itself, amazing! Well the Grand Finals (aka league championship) was on Saturday. We watched it World Cup stylee at a a biergarten. There were two teams playing, one Geelong Cats, and the other, Collingwood Magpies. Now the Collingwood fans are a bunch of feral fans. In my case, they remind me of the Red Sox, but its more or less like routing for Nascar. Every Collingwood fan has Nascar fan tendencies.

Moving right along.

We were in the corner next to this table of guys. They were all about 25-28 and all barracking for Geelong. Except, every single one of them had a flannel shirt on. Now I've seen that these shirts are back in style, but, really? Girls sometimes ask what friends are wearing so they don't wear the same thing, but these boys ALL had on the same styled shirt, just in different colors. Did you all send out a Facebook note to each other? "Mate, lets wear our flannel shirts." "Great idea, totally keen." Or is it they all think they look so stellar in the SAME shirt?

I was in Sydney's east, which is like NYC's village. If I wanted to go to a rodeo, I would have gone, but boys, flannel might be in, but you just made it TOO in. Bed Bath and Beyond has less of a selection in the flannel section compared to your group of friends!

Sunday, August 14, 2011


My boss Dave's nephew was sick this weekend (just a cold) and wasn't well enough to run in Sydney's infamous City 2 Surf race. Dave asked if I wanted his bib to run in the 14 km (8.7 mile/ one-third marathon) race. It was on a Sunday morning and I only had birthday drinks planned for Saturday night, so why not?!
I woke up Saturday morning and took the bus (free public transport all day with your bib, # 6975) into the city. I hopped in line and I was just in time for the start.

Well this race had a gradient that was killer! (see below)
Last year I did the Belmar 5 mile after a Bon Jovi concert so I was pretty cocky. This race was legit. 85,000 took part in this race. It is the largest timed race EVER to take place in the WORLD. I was a part of making history.  as you can see through 6-8k there is a hill called "heart break hill." It wasn't as much of a physical heart  break as it was an emotional butt kick in more than a few ways. First off, your body will do anything your mind wants it to do. Second, how can you feel pain when there is a man with a hand-bike propelled wheelchair climbing a 45 degree slope next to you at a speed that is almost going backwards? There was a woman who didn't have any legs wheeling herself up the hill as well. It took me at least 20 minutes to climb this hill, but this woman was struggling, and to see runners who could barely breathe or walk, taking turns pushing this woman was heartwarming. Then, in the last 4k's a blind man came up beside me and was holding onto an orange band with another man. The other man was his guide, racing along with him. At this point I almost burst into tears (if I did I probably would have had an asthma attack, so I pulled myself together just in time.)  My hips were aching and my quads were burning, but the fact that these people were racing on this incredibly difficult course, was enough motivation to not quit.

After crossing the finish line when the clock said 1 h 23 min, I was quite satisfied. (That wasn't my official time though, because I didn't cross the start for at least 4 minutes after the clock started.) If you were to times this pace by three, I would have run a 4 hour marathon! That is pretty darn good, considering NYC's course doesn't have nearly as tough of hills. I also wouldn't have had several beers before the marathon either!

After the race I guzzled at least a gallon of Gatorade and water, then got a bacon and egg sandwich and met up with my roomie. I met up with her about an hour after and we grabbed a chicken sandwich and a much deserved brewski. City2Surf is kind of like a Seafood Festival afterwards. Its a giant party. Unfortunately, I was soo tired I couldn't hang past 1 pm.  I took the bus from Bondi Beach (which I got a solid 30 minute nap) to the train in Bondi Junction to the bus in the city, to my doorstep. I took a shower and by 4 pm I was lights out until 8 this morning. Although I was so exhausted, that was one of the most fun races I've ever run. I'm giving my body today to recover, but I have 18 miles more to run this week for my marathon training! I'm soo excited for NY, only 85 days left! Now I just have to raise $2950 more for PKD and I'll be set!

Please go to:


to make your donation today! 11/6/11


Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Americana goes Aussie- Part I

Out the window goes gargantuan brewed coffees and Staten Island accents. I now drink skinny capps with poached eggs and say "Oy!". I call my living room a lounge room and coaches lounges. I take the bus to the city (sometimes to sneak that Venti brewed coffee from the American Starbucks-I have found four locations in Sydney!) and ride a push bike instead of a bicycle. I look right left right when crossing streets.

Here are some of the new terms I use in daily conversation:

Arvo- Afternoon- "Let's grab lunch this arvo."
OTT- Over the top "Her outfit was OTT."
mobile- Cell phone "Call my mobile."
devo- devastated "I'm so devo my meal was crap."
toats- Totally- See below
froth- when you like a guy "I'm toats frothing on ....."
perv- see froth
babe- hun - "Hey Babe." -Sounds common but EVERY girl says it.
suss- sort out- "I'm going to suss out my finances before I book my plane ticket."
bloody hell- For crying out loud/Damn it -  After burning my oatmeal- "Bloody hell!
far out - In any instance you want to use the F word or say No way - When I read the bus timetable wrong this week and realized I'd have to wait 40 min for the next bus: "Bloody Hell! Far out!"
How ya goin'?- How are you. "How ya going today?
mate- bud, guy, homie, sweetie. "Hey Mate!" "Mate, what were you thinking?"

That's all I can think of for now, but I will let you know more in Part II!

Thursday, August 4, 2011


I was sitting on the bus into the city early in the morning this week. As I looked around, I saw at least four men in their mid 20s with some serious balding. One guy was bold enough to close shave and polish his dome. Well done champ! No use in saving something that's not there, or worse...saving something thats better off gone.
If at any stage in a man's life, he has to grow his ranga (as in oRANGAtan) beard into a comb over turban, you deserve to be made fun of. If you thought you would never get an 'ole bird to marry you, guess again. I'm pretty sure a pterodactyl wouldn't even touch down on your landing pad homefry!

Sorry mate, God hates you. He put hair on your ENTIRE body except your head. Cruel joke. Good news, you have eyebrows...along with enough hair to weave enough blankets to keep an entire family warm this winter. At least you're comfortable in your own skin, or shall I say fur, to deal with the bareness of your belfry. 

Good news and bad news Prince Billy. Good news is, you got your mum's ears. Bad news, you got your dad's hairline. Good thing you still had the hair for the wedding. You really should have worn your wedding hat. Might have had better pics without that glare coming off your scalp. Bummer though that you won't have hair to hold your crown when Grandma E and Papa Prince croak. Let it go. SHAVE IT!

Then there is "THE DONALD"
Some guys just don't know when to give it up. I guarantee there is a baby squirrel nested in there. He might even hide a beer or a flask in there daily just so he doesn't have to deal with the pain of having his hair. Can one get "FIRED" for hair like that? DT...its over. You have the hot 2nd wife. You're a grandpa. Get old and get bald already! If not...I'm pretty sure you can afford some decent extensions? Or maybe you could hire a better stylist who could color your hair properly. Andre Agassi got rid of his extensions and was a better man and player for it. We would all love you much more. Now that you're not running for President 2012, you can by all means be a baldy! 

Note to all balders: 
   1st step: Acceptance. 
   2nd step: A sharp razor. 
  Get it done!  

Friday, July 22, 2011

Rain Keeps Falling Out My Window....

It is BUCKETING here in New South Wales. Thank you mini cyclones. Highways are closed down, my Rainbows (that would be my flipflop, there would have to be sun for real ones in Sydney) have kept my feet stained for about 2 weeks. This is madness! Remember that June we had had 2 summers ago? Yea...this is worse. It hasn't rained like this for four days straight in 131 years. There hasn't been a July with this much rain in Sydney in over 60 years. NUTS! The saying in the states is March is in like a lion and out like a lamb and April showers bring May Flowers? It's a not like that here, mainly because of the whole 'opposite sides of the equator thing". Well July showers bring Floods! Where is Noah. I need an Ark. My hair hasn't been straight in a month. You can probably tell by this email that I'm slightly bitter I haven't seen sun. I need my Vitamin D and drinking milk just isn't cutting it! I think this is why I left Denmark. I NEEED sunlight. Maybe I'm just long overdue for summer? It's been 11 months since I've had one. Six weeks or less and I'll be beaching it like it's nobody's business! For my sanity, please pray for sun! It's looking like I might need a rowboat to get get my new flat. Well maybe a rowboat with a three horsepower? It's kind of far!!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Update from Oz

So sorry about the blogging efforts. Things have been a little crazy. I went to Melbourne the first week of July. It was so great to see my old family and friends. I did get a bit of a winter cold because it was freezing and rainy down there. All is good now. We are in 4th place in the league. Check out the website: League Website for upcoming details. We have a few more games left then head into playoffs. We play the #2 team in 2 weeks so that will be good.

On a cool note, I'm moving into an apartment with a girl from my team's (Kristen) sister. Kristen and her boyfriend Dan live right across the hall. Its in a town called Mosman. It will be so nice to live closer to the city. Since the season is coming to an end it will be nice to  be closer to the main areas of Sydney during the summer months. I'll send pics of my new pad out as soon as I get there. It will be nice to  be on my own again. It was nice to have the family feeling for the past few years, but lets face it...its about time!

So who is coming to visit me?! I'm waiting for some fellow Americans to get out here!

Hope all is well stateside. I miss everyone.