BALDING

I was sitting on the bus into the city early in the morning this week. As I looked around, I saw at least four men in their mid 20s with some serious balding. One guy was bold enough to close shave and polish his dome. Well done champ! No use in saving something that's not there, or worse...saving something thats better off gone.

If at any stage in a man's life, he has to grow his ranga (as in oRANGAtan) beard into a comb over turban, you deserve to be made fun of. If you thought you would never get an 'ole bird to marry you, guess again. I'm pretty sure a pterodactyl wouldn't even touch down on your landing pad homefry!

Sorry mate, God hates you. He put hair on your ENTIRE body except your head. Cruel joke. Good news, you have eyebrows...along with enough hair to weave enough blankets to keep an entire family warm this winter. At least you're comfortable in your own skin, or shall I say fur, to deal with the bareness of your belfry. 

Good news and bad news Prince Billy. Good news is, you got your mum's ears. Bad news, you got your dad's hairline. Good thing you still had the hair for the wedding. You really should have worn your wedding hat. Might have had better pics without that glare coming off your scalp. Bummer though that you won't have hair to hold your crown when Grandma E and Papa Prince croak. Let it go. SHAVE IT!

Then there is "THE DONALD"

Some guys just don't know when to give it up. I guarantee there is a baby squirrel nested in there. He might even hide a beer or a flask in there daily just so he doesn't have to deal with the pain of having his hair. Can one get "FIRED" for hair like that? DT...its over. You have the hot 2nd wife. You're a grandpa. Get old and get bald already! If not...I'm pretty sure you can afford some decent extensions? Or maybe you could hire a better stylist who could color your hair properly. Andre Agassi got rid of his extensions and was a better man and player for it. We would all love you much more. Now that you're not running for President 2012, you can by all means be a baldy! 

Note to all balders: 

   1st step: Acceptance. 

   2nd step: A sharp razor. 

  Get it done!